


Memories in the Snow

by VampyrePrince



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-11
Updated: 2014-02-11
Packaged: 2018-01-12 01:01:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1180031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VampyrePrince/pseuds/VampyrePrince
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's snowing for the first time in London for the winter season, and the doctor becomes sentimental.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Memories in the Snow

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this while listening to the Ice Dance track from Edward Scissorhands, so this is heavily based on that. If you haven't heard the song, here it is: http://youtu.be/VMfs1rlw4tc

It was snowing for the first time that winter, which was scarce. The sky was a dark blue, lit up by the lights and signs that littered the streets of London. Although it was late the children were running about on the pavement, catching snowflakes in their gloves and on their tongues. They were laughing and throwing snowballs at one another, completely content with life and ignorant of all that was wrong in the world. To them everything was perfect and there were no worries. If only everyone and everything could be that way the world would be a much better place. 

All of these ideals and more crossed the doctor's mind as he watched the innocent havoc in the streets, his hand rising to run through his short blond hair as he yawned loudly. He glanced at the watch on his wrist to see that it was well past eight in the evening, then turned to his friend who was typing away furiously on his laptop. “It's snowing outside, have you seen?”

The doctor's friend hummed in response, his eyes never once leaving his work. The man's eyes were a mixture of gold, green, and blue as he focused intently on the bright screen, the light illuminating their beautiful yet strange mixture of color. Although expressive, they held no emotion as if he were a robot at times. It was frightening, and the doctor found himself falling out of his trance as he stared into those eyes, looking away quickly to return his gaze to the children on the street below. It was a much more pleasant sight; one that caused emotions to slowly creep up his throat. He felt a lump form as tears threatened to surface, sniffing and squeezing the bridge of his nose.

His friend noticed instantly, lifting his gaze from the computer and watching the doctor with concern, emotion finally warming those cold inhuman eyes. He watched as a few tears leaked down his friend's pained face, the man's chest rising and falling in an attempt to keep himself under control. The doctor had once been a soldier, he knew that. The man wasn't always as strong as he'd let on, however. 

The taller of the two stood from his work desk and approached his distressed friend, not quite sure knowing how to respond or what to do, merely standing there to show that he was indeed listening. The doctor glanced over and laughed humorlessly, trying in vain to stop the tears from falling. He succeeded momentarily and wiped his eyes. “Jesus, I'm sorry. You probably think I'm being ridiculous.”

“No, nothing of the sort.” The taller man approached his friend and hesitated as he reached out, slowly resuming his previous line of thought and placed a hand on the doctor's shoulder. They stood side by side, just watching the snow fall out in the streets. The children had started to clear out by then and all was dimming down. The sky had went from a navy blue to an inky color, the snow falling heavier as the minutes ticked by. “I'm not good at these things, as you may have realized, but I will do my best to listen if you need... I am here if...”

“I know, I know. It's alright. Thank you.” A smile spread across the doctor's face as he looked up at his friend, his eyes slightly puffy and red. He sighed and focused back outside, his breath causing a fog to form on the window pane. He shook his head hopelessly and placed a hand on his friend's back before finally speaking. “It's just something about snow. It hurts to look at it.”

“Snow is merely a component of dreadful weather. I fail to see how that would have any sentimental value.” The doctor laughed.

“You wouldn't understand. Do you remember last winter? When it snowed?”

“Yes.”

“That was when... it happened.” The doctor paused and took a deep breath, setting his jaw and clearing his throat to keep from becoming emotional again. “Do you remember?” The taller man nodded, finally understanding where this was all going. 

“You've attached that memory to the snow, which is why you can't forget about it.” 

“Right.” The doctor finally turned from the window, his friend following likewise as they stared into each other's eyes. “I miss her. I miss them.” A sad expression crossed the taller man's face, his hand reaching up to set on the the doctor's cheek. He spoke quietly, his voice barely above a whisper.

“I know, but the snow will not bring them back. You need to let them go.”

“They were my wife and daughter, my family. How do you forget something like that? Oh god.” The doctor reached out and clenched his friend's white shirt sleeves in his fists, leaning into him for support. “Hold me, please.”

“I... can't.” Fresh tears began to fall from the shorter man's eyes, soaking into his friend's shirt. 

“Yes you can.”

“I don't want to hurt you.”

“You won't. I promise. Please.” The doctor slid his hands down his friend's arms, lifting them and wrapping them around his body, feeling as the taller man tensed and drew in a deep breath. After a moment the shorter man felt his friend relax, leaning into the embrace. Long, slender arms squeezed them tightly together, a head of dark curls coming to rest on the doctor's shoulder.

“Why do you trust me?”

“Because you're my best friend, and I need you. You're all I have.” The taller man drew back and stared into his friend's deep blue eyes, lifting a finger to wipe away the final tear that fell down the doctor's face. 

“I love you.”

“I know.”

“That's why I can't hold you. I don't know what I would do.”

“You can. Please, just hold me a while longer. I trust you.” The taller man leaned into their embrace once more, rubbing the doctor's back and laying a gentle kiss on his neck.

“When the snow is gone, can you love me, John Watson?”

“When the snow is gone, Sherlock, I may be able to do just that.”


End file.
